Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Iranian REVOLUTION

I feel the need to stand up for those who are fighting for democracy, no matter how much their democracy means nothing, because it is the right thing to do. But since I wield almost no power to speak of, and some guy with a ton of power wont say anything with authority on the matter, the best I could do is give an interpretation of the greatest revolutionary song of all time....

Ohh myyyy (oh my)
20 throw down in my fist of rage (he has thrown in a $20 raise and did it in an angry fasion)
and the man to my left has folded down (the next guy to act doesn’t want to play for 20 bucks)
well johnny doubled up with a royal flush (Johnny went all in and WON with a royal flush)
I had three jacks and a pair of nines (the singer had a full house, and lost to Johnny)
my mind is turning (he cant stop thinking about the loss to Johnny)
just two shots more (I guess he is drinking)
there's not much left to play (he has run out of cash)
well then dude walks in black hat on top (a guy with a black hat walks in)What a mop (he has quite a head of hair),
I'm lucky It wasn't a county cop (it apparently is an illegal game of poker and the singer doesn’t want to go to jail)
cause I'm just runnin out of time (he is running out of time)

Who's up for game two (there is another game)
what to domy wallet's gettin thin (he is running out of cash)
and I just lost my watch last night (maybe losing his watch is the reason he is running out of time)
well I gotta problem (he doesn’t know what to do)
just one answer (he figures out what to do)
gotta throw it all down (he figured that he should call)
and kiss it goodbye (bad choice, he lost)
Yeah! (YEAH!)

That was a crazy game of poker (he was involved in a crazy game of poker)
I lost it all (He lost it all)
but someday I'll be back again (he plans on a return visit to the poker game)
And I, never to fold. (see, this is a problem. Anybody can play a winning had. What actually seperates a good poker player from a bad one is when they figure out that they are beat. The bad ones figure out when they are beat after they call away their chips. A good play figures out they are beat when they still have the money in front of them. By making this statement, the singer has proven that he is a bad player and explains why he is out of money and doesn’t have a watch)

Who's up for game three (he isn’t very smart, so he makes another return trip)
I can barely see the bourbon drowning next to me (also, drinking and playing poker is a terrible idea, and drinking till you cant see a bottle next to you means you are going to lose it all)
And I just lost it all (he didn’t fail me)
well there's a man sittin next to me (he is sitting next to a man)
Red, with smiling eyes (apparently the singer has drank a lot of bourbon, this statement makes no sense)
It's funny (ok)
I don't have no money tonight (I don’t see that to be very funny)yeaaaaaaaahhhhhhh (YEAH!)

That was a crazy game of poker (he was involved in a crazy game of poker)
I lost it all (He lost it all)
but someday I'll be back again (he plans on a return visit to the poker game)
And I, never to fold. (he still has not learned his lesson, I want to play poker against him)
Bop bop bop... (BBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP)
I say now skittleedat dat, (I’m the scatman)
Well how bout that? (how about what?)
I'm coming out the front never coming out the back (???????)
And I walked into the bar yesterday (where does he get his money? If I am broke as he claims to be, a bar is not a place to go to)
Cause I had something to do, something to say (He needs to order a beer (what he has to do) and Barkeep, get me a beer (what he has to say))
And Johnny walked in right behind me and I didn't turn around (Apparently Johnny knew he would be at the bar and wanted to play some poker with this guy because he leaks money live a sieve)
Til I heard the sound of his feet falling on the ground (he can hear footsteps)
I looked over my shoulder and I saw a clown (apparently Johnny likes to dress up)
And I said what'cha doin' in the bar tonight. (this is perhaps the single dumbest thing that could have been asked. He is at a bar, what do you think he is going to do? Sew a sweater? A better question would have been something like why are you dressed like a clown, or where do you get a clown outfit, or even so I see you are still a predator)
So I said Johnny whatcha doing tonight? (redundant from the previous dumb question)
He looked at me with a face full of fright (his stupidity scares the clown)
And I said, how bout a revolution? (LETS REVOLT)
And he said right. (well, I have to say that Johnny’s response doesn’t sound nearly as convincing as the singers call to arms)

I say of, you say a
I say revolution, and you say jah (since jah is a reference to god, and they are referencing their name, are they claming to be god?)
I say of, you say a
I say revolution, and you say jah jah jah
Jahova! (Jahova - 1 definition - (noun) annoying people that interupt you from watching TV. (from the urban dictionary))

And I said, what'cha looking at? (Johnny is looking at something)
He hit me across the face with a bat (Johnny has had enough with the bullshit questions)
I grabbed my .45 and I said let's get out and go (never bring a bat to a gun fight)
So he opened the door and said do what you're here for (now Johnny is asking stupid questions… GREAT)
I said I'm wandering round the road four to four (WTF?)
And I said I been walking for about a thousand years. (he must be the highlander!)
And my feet are growing tired (Bitch)
My eyes a little wired (moan)
Don't know what to do unless I retire (complain – that’s all this guy seems to know how to do)
And he just said let's play some crazy poker (Johnny is just trying to take this guys money again. I like Johnny)

So I said Johnny whatcha doing tonight? (I think the singer is hitting on Johnny)
He looked at me with a face full of fright (Johnny doesn’t swing that way)
And I said, how bout a revolution? (REVOLT)
And he said right. (Johnny by this point is thinking about giving the singer a Columbian neck tie)

I say of, you say a
I say revolution, and you say die (see Johnny is now saying die! Columbian Neck Ties for ALL)
I say of, you say a
I say revolution, and you say die dah dah
Day day oh!
I said that, was the craziest game of poker that I ever saw (I believe you)
I said that, was the craziest game of poker that I ever saw (okay, we get it)
But I'm not gonna quit and I'm not gonna stop (refusing to learn from your past experience proves that you are a bad person and need to be stopped)
Don't give a shit cause I got the drop (The rest of this lyric makes even less sense than anything else in this song)
Johnny just got two eyes just like mine (they share eyes!)
And I'm feeling kinda funky, kinda fine (is he drunk?)
And I drank a bottle of whiskey, 'fore I came (apparently. Janis Joplin also drank a bottle of Southern Comfort a night. So they are similar, except for she had talent)
Came to the bar to see what's the same (I am guessing he came to the bar to drink, so this line is incorrect)
I saw my man named Johnny sittin' across the table from me (the singer is again hitting on Johnny hoping that Johnny would be his man. Johnny wisely stays on the other side of the table)
And to my left was a man, he had no chin (he might want to go get that looked at by a doctor. I thought you were suppose to have a chin)
Didn't really think about starting to sin (now we are just throwing in words that rhythm for no reason)
The man to my right wasn't feeling kinda nice (he threw up on Johnny’s shoes)
He looked kinda mad and I felt bad (again, someone is not happy with the singers unwanted sexual advances)
Beacuse I took his money last night it's kinda funny (wait, the singer actually beat someone in poker?)
But now I'm just struggling—(he is having issues again)I need a honey-bunny. (The singer has had trouble getting women who are willing to be a front or can stand these awesome lyrics)
I don't know what to say anymore (I wish he didn’t have anything to say about before he wrote this song)
So I'm just gonna go out, anywho... (he is running out on his tab)
So I said Johnny whatcha doing tonight? (Johnny needs to answer this question, the singer is not going to go away without an answer)
He looked at me with a face full of fright (Johnny scares easily)
And I said, how bout a revolution? (REVOLT)
And he said right. (would you really want to revolt with someone who gets scared by simple questions? This revolt is doomed to fail)
I say of, you say a
I say revolution, and you say jah (so back to the comparisons to god. OAR is godlike I guess)
I say of, you say a
I say revolution, and you say jah
I say of, you say a
I say revolution, and you say jah
I say of, you say a
I say revolution, and you say jah jah jah jahova
javhova, is watching over me... (unfortunately he wasn’t paying much attention when you wrote this song or he could have stopped it.)
Day day oh! (night night ah!)

1 comments:

  1. I actually like that song for the first two minutes until they start talking about a revolution, then I usually switch to something else. What I'm trying to say is: Iran is doomed.

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